Please
by CowboysRednecksandParamedics
Summary: A female trainee rides along in Squad 51 and the experience leaves Johnny intrigued and wanting more. He begins to wonder if this young woman could be the one, but she has well guarded secrets from her past threatens their relationship. WARNING: This is somewhat of a Mary Sue, so if you don't like stories like that, just don't read it. Rated T for child abuse.
1. Chapter 1

"Gage, DeSoto, I'd like to see you two in my office." Captain Stanley blocked the pair of paramedics' path into the kitchen.

Roy shot Johnny a 'what did you do' look and Gage shrugged his shoulders and puckered his chin as the two followed their captain into his office. Cap lowered himself into the swirly chair and clasped his hand behind his head as he leaned as far back as the chair would allow.

Johnny stayed poised by the door, looking ready to bolt for the hills, and Roy noticed the anxious jiggling of the leg that tapped loudly on the floor.

"John." Cap said sternly.

"Sorry, Cap."

"The reason I called you two in here is because we got a last minute trainee who's gonna ride along with you this week."

"Last minute?" Roy questioned.

"Yup. I guess that they were gonna have him ride along with somebody next week but they decided to switch it to this week at the last second. Trained at St. Francis." Cap read off the paper that had been sitting on his desk that morning. "Should be showing up any minute."

"Alright. Thanks for letting us know, Cap." Roy nodded at his superior and then turned to go, but Johnny was already gone.

"What's his deal? He got ants in his pants?" Cap joked.

Roy shrugged. "Who knows."

As Roy was heading for the kitchen, he heard a yowl come from the locker room, followed by an expletive latched onto the tail end of "Gage!"

Johnny came high-tailing it from behind the engine, a cheeky grin on his face.

"What did you do?" Roy grabbed Johnny by the elbow as he rushed past.

Johnny just giggled and opened his mouth to speak but Chet came around the hind end of the engine,his mouth foaming with the bubbles from toothpaste, and a toothbrush in his right hand.

"I'll tell you what he did! He put shampoo in my toothpaste bottle! I'll get you for this Gage!"

Roy found the brotherly prank-war between the two amusing most times. He was neutral in the whole situation; he absolutely refused to be dragged into the conflict knowing full well what it entailed.

Chet stomped back to the locker room and Johnny paused to tell Roy how and when he had accomplished the most daring feat when a car pulled up out back and parked beside Chet's camper.

"They, that must be our trainee." Johnny tapped Roy's arm as they both stopped to watch who exited the vehicle.

The person who got out was short in comparison to most of the guys at the station, except Kelly. A dress hat adorned the person's head as the trainee walked closer, Roy saw Johnny's eyes bug out.

"Roy," he whispered. "That's a woman!"

"At least we know you can see, Junior." Roy joked.

It was a woman and as she got closer Roy saw that she was attractive and young. Beside him, he felt Johnny's ego inflate a little as the woman trainee neared. The last female trainee they had had worn the nurse's regular uniform, but this one wore a firefighter's attire.

When she approached Johnny and Roy she stopped and glanced shyly up at the two.

Johnny was completely intrigued by the young woman. She was beautiful, but her beauty was not the exotic exquisiteness that was showcased in the latest women's' magazines, or the sultry painted-on faces of the other younger women nowadays; her attractiveness was a simple loveliness that radiated sweetness and innocence. Her hair was long and tightly curled but thick and voluminous, tempting to run one's fingers through it's luscious locks. Her eyes were dark brown, the color of warm coffee fresh from the pot, and her skin possessed a natural tan to it, just a tad darker than Johnny's own brown arms. All of these characteristics and her short stature pointed to a Hispanic background, but when she spoke, her voice rolled with a soft Georgia accent, drawing Johnny in faster than a fisherman reels in a prize catch.

Everything in him screamed to know more about this charming southern belle, and it satisfied him to know what she would sit beside him today in the squad.

"Hi," Roy offered as she stood in front of the two, hands clasped in front of her and chin pointed down at the ground. "Are you going to be riding along with us today?"

"Yeah," She said softly, giving Johnny shivers as her lilting accent came out strong.

"What's your name, Miss?" Johnny inquired.

"Duke." She tipped her head up to look at him from under the brim of the dress hat, making her heart shaped face look like a child's. "Dakota Duke." She stuck out her hand at Johnny.

Johnny gave a crooked grin and shook her hand. "John Gage. But you can call me Johnny." He noticed the bag at her feet. "Oh, you can put that in the locker room." He pointed the trainee in the right direction, gave her a warning about Chet, and sent her on her way. As she disappeared around the hind end of the engine, Chet Kelly passed by, did a quick double-take, and came scurrying over to Johnny and Roy.

"Who's the chic?" He demanded.

"Our trainee." Johnny smiled happily to see Chet make a face. "Dakota Duke."

"You mean she's gonna ride with you all day? That's a bummer. I wouldn't mind getting to know her a little better."


	2. Chapter 2

The very first call that the new trainee was along for was a fake. Halfway to the destination, the dispatcher called Squad 51 off the trail, sending them back to quarters. Helmets were flipped off, and Johnny decided that it was a good a time as any to lean a bit more about the young woman sitting beside him.

"I-uh-noticed that you have a bit of an accent. Where are you from?"

Dakota turned her big dark eyes on him, turning his insides to mush. "Georgia." She said softly, pronouncing it more like 'jaw-juh'. "About three hours north'a Atlanta."

"What made you come out here to live in the smoke and smog of LA?" Roy butted into the conversation, receiving a peeved look from Johnny.

Dakota seemed to stiffen a bit and swallowed nervously. "Jus' because." She ducked her head and clasped her hands in her lap.

Her shyness endeared Johnny even more. In his mind, a shy girl was just a puzzle that needed to be solved, and he wasn't going to quit on this one until he saw the whole thing complete. "How long have you been a nurse?" He asked to switch the subject.

"I ain't never been a nurse! I've never been to college."

Johnny was now confused. "So you're a firefighter?" He hadn't heard of any female firefighters within the department.

"Only for a couple of weeks before I joined the paramedic program. Would've started sooner but they wouldn't let me; said I was too young."

"Too young?" Johnny let his arm flop out the open window. "Well, I've never heard of them turning down any firefighters because they were too 'young' for the program. I didn't know it had an age limit!"

"No, you misunderstood." She shook her head. "They wouldn't let me be join the LAFD until I turned eighteen and then I had to wait a while before another training opportunity came up."

Johnny's mouth dropped open. "You're only eighteen?"

A pink blush crept onto Dakota's smooth cheeks, and she dropped her head again. But then her head snapped back up again, a defiant fire in her eyes. "You don't look a day over nineteen!"

Roy chuckled, enjoying the new twist to the conversation.

Johnny raised his eyebrows. "Well," he said.

"He just barely reached drinking age." Roy said.

"Hey!" Johnny exclaimed.

"You ain't much older than I am!" Dakota grinned before growing serious. "Don't go easy on me because I'm a woman, and because I'm young. That's not the way I want to become a good paramedic. Treat me as you would treat any other male trainee, please."

 _Nobody could treat her like a man even if they wanted to!_ Johnny thought to himself. _I can't believe she's eighteen! She's pretty much still a teenager._ "Hey Roy, what about swinging by Rampart and introducing our new trainee to Dixie?"

Roy simply nodded and maneuvered the vehicle into the correct lane that would take them to the hospital instead of the station. Upon pulling up to the hospital, Johnny jumped out and held the door open for Dakota, shutting it behind her when she clambered out, not meeting his eyes.

Roy handed Dakota the HT, saying, "You do the honors if we get a call."

She gave Roy a look of appreciation, and Johnny felt a flash of jealousy so he speed walked ahead to break the news to Dixie before Roy got the chance.

"Hey, Dix." He leaned both elbows on the base station counter. "Guess what."

Dixie put away the report that she was filling out. "You're getting married."

"No! Well, not yet anyway." Johnny grinned at Dixie's teasing. "We got a new trainee."

"Oh, and what's so exciting about this particular one?" She copied Johnny's pose.

"Here they come." Johnny pulled his one arm off the table and swung it around to welcome Roy and Dakota.

"Dixie," Johnny laid a hand on Dakota's shoulder to see if she would tolerate his touch. "This is our new trainee, Dakota Duke." Under his hand, he felt Dakota's shoulder muscles tense for a moment before relaxing.

"Hello, Miss Dixie." Dakota was watching the floor again, clasping the HT in front of her like a shield. Johnny realized that the shyness would have to go if she was ever going to succeed in her new job.

"Glad to meet you, Dakota. Dixie will do just fine." Dixie shook the girl's hand.

"C'mon, I'll show you around here." Johnny offered and was elated when she followed him.

Dixie and Roy watched the two go.

"He's smitten already." Roy told Dix, although he was sure that the head nurse already could see that.

"She's so young, Roy! I heard that there was a woman training over at St. Francis, but I didn't think that it would be somebody so young. I heard that she was at the top of her class."

"That's good to know, Dix." Roy sighed. "She's so shy, and it just makes Johnny even more girl-crazy when they're like that."


	3. Chapter 3

When Dakota had first pulled up at the station, she was more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, but she had told herself that everything was alright. _Pretend that it's just back home._ She told herself over and over in her racing mind, but no matter how much she told herself that, it just couldn't ring true.

By sheer will, she had gotten out of the truck and when she had seen the two men standing in the building by the squad watching her, she just about turned right around and jumped back into the vehicle and sped away.

As she had neared, she felt her stomach flip a little. They were both tall, the one with blonde hair and blue eyes. He looked older, more experienced and had an aura of calm collectiveness about him that she tried to draw from. But the other one set her nerves right on edge again!

He was tall, dark, and handsome...and watching her. His dark eyes were hooded and almond shaped, the color of smooth chocolate and his hair was thick and dark; Dakota couldn't tell if it was dark brown or black. His nose, although slightly crooked, was long and strong, emphasising his crooked grin that caused Dakota's head to go light for a minute. His teeth were white and straight on the top, his jawline sharply defined and his high cheekbones all contributed to a face very pleasing to the eyes.

Dakota hadn't known what to do or what to say so she stood in front of the two until the blonde man spoke, asking if she was the trainee.

It was then that she had realized that these were the paramedics. She was going to have to be around these men all day. Fear seized her throat as the handsome one asked her name. Barely able to croak out, "Dakota Duke", she tried to fight the heat creeping into her cheeks. Then he stuck out his hand. For a second all she did was stare at it, wonder if she should shake it, then quickly decided that if she didn't it would be rude. When he gripped her hand in his, his grip was strong and comforting. She managed to smile at him and he gave her a heart-flipping crooked grin as he directed her where to put her had quickly escaped to the locker room where she sought until the tones sounded and she heard rushing feet. Then she had to sit beside him on the run. Dakota wanted to wither up and blow away like chaff on the wind.

When he began to speak to her, Dakota became wary of his intentions. She was a simple country girl; she loved the clear air and warm folks back in Georgia, and longed to be there. But she knew that she couldn't go home until she had completed her self-decided mission. It just seemed like this man, Johnny, was going to twist her feelings around until she didn't know which way to turn! To make it worse she had only known him for a few hours. What bothered her about Johnny was that she couldn't read his emotions. She wanted desperately to know what he thought about her; he seemed awfully surprised to find out she was eighteen. In her mind, eighteen was awfully old, but then again, what did she know?

When the blonde man, Roy, asked why she had moved to LA, Dakota didn't know what to say. She didn't want to open the door to that conversation at all. Not now at least. She was a stranger in an alien land with no friends, unless you could count these two. Then they had taken her to the hospital to meet people. Dakota had felt a tide of relief wash over her when she saw the friendly smiling face of another woman. But the relief had been short lived until Johnny had put his hand on her shoulder, her skin still burned from his touch it seemed, and then taken her away and shown her around.

Johnny had been the perfect gentleman, holding doors, turning the conversation spotlight onto her which she immediately tried to turn back on him, and everything else that her relatives back home had told her to look for in a man. He looked deep into her eyes whenever he spoke or she said something, causing Dakota to wonder if he was reading her emotions like a book. The very thought terrified her.

Now, as she lay on her back staring at the room of her apartment, her thoughts whirled. For the past six weeks she had spent in LA, her life had been nothing but one trial after another. She longed to return home, but she was too stubborn to give up. Here in the city, people scorned her for the way she spoke, treated her like an ignorant child, or just plain ignored her altogether. _At least the guys at the station are nice._ Dakota remembered with a flash of sorrow the last station she had been at. There, she had experienced incredible discrimination because of her gender. The men there almost flat down refused to let her do anything but clean the station and do the dirty work that nobody else wanted to do. Of course, she had expected bad treatment because she was a 'boot', but nothing like that had been!


	4. Chapter 4

Johnny stroked Charlie's soft head and ears as the dog look up at him adoringly, his big brown eyes pleadingly asking to be let up onto the couch. Johnny changed the channel when a commercial came on and patted the couch beside him. "C'mon, Charlie. Just for tonight." The half grown puppy leaped up with enthusiasm and nestled onto the cushion beside his owner, laying his head on Johnny's lap and sighing contentedly. Johnny's other dog, Sam, lay in the corner. "Sam," Johnny called. "C'mon here, bud." He patted the other side of him, but Sam just raised his head and flicked his pink tongue over his black nose before laying his head back down on his paws. "Alright, but you're missing out!" Johnny returned his attention to the TV screen, watching images of Adam-12 flipping across the screen. It was an episode that he had seen before, and soon his mind began to wander, finding the fresh memories of the pretty trainee that had sat beside him all day in the squad. After the first called-off response, they had taken her along to the scene of a multiple automobile accident. He at first worried at she would break out in tears when she saw the blood and shattered glass on the pavement, saw the body of the young man lying beneath the car that had struck him when he jaywalked across the road. But she had surprised Johnny and Roy; she got down in the nitty-gritty, bloody mess and helped extract the body before helping treat the surviving victims.

Then Johnny wondered if she was seeing anybody. He guessed that she probably was, for how beautiful she was, but then again, she had mentioned that she had recently arrived in Los Angeles.

"Whaddya think, Charlie? Should I ask her out?" Johnny scratched his dog's chin. Charlie pulled his head away and licked Johnny's chicken-grease-stained fingers. "Next shift, I will. If I get the chance."

He realized that he hadn't been on a date for a long, long time. Suddenly, his foster daughter, Ellie, began to cry from her crib directly behind the couch. At first, he let her cry, hoping she would soon fall back to sleep, but when her wails picked up momentum, he got up and picked her up, rocking her back and forth as he paced behind the couch. Charlie and Sam watched closely as he marched back and forth, trying to comfort the two-month old baby.

"Shh," he whispered. "It's alright, El'. Go back to sleep." Her crib was not yet moved into the spare room because Johnny was painting it, and he was deathly afraid of what the paint fumes might do to her.

It was a controversial subject; him, a single firefighter, fostering a baby, but he met all the qualifications. He, a lawyer, and Doctor Brackett had done much research. The only hiccup was when he was at work. Joanne quickly volunteered to watch the baby girl when Johnny and Roy were on shift, Dixie offered any of her spare time, and Johnny's family on the rez was also very diligent although they were far away.

"Maybe Dakota would like to help me babysit…" Johnny grinned and sat back down on the couch with Ellie in his arms. Charlie licked the baby's foot and she pulled it up closer to her body.

"Charlie, don't." Johnny nudged the puppy away from Ellie. "You aren't the baby around here anymore! No need to get jealous."

"Station 110, Squad 51, unknown type rescue, 12 Rosa Street, 12 Rosa Street. Time out, 11:43."

The two paramedics and their trainee ran for the squad. Johnny held held the door for the young woman and then climbed in after her. Roy handed Dakota the sheet of paper that Captain Stanley handed him, which she promptly handed to Johnny.

Johnny saw it as a learning experience and showed her the address on the paper. "Do you know how to get here?"

As Roy turned out of the station's driveway, Dakota shook her head. "Not a clue."

"You'll hafta learn the city streets pretty well. Go out and drive around a bunch and learn the road names.

Dakota nodded, blushing slightly at what Johnny assumed was her lack of knowledge of the city. Oh well, she would learn fast. She was going to have to.

The squad beat Engine 110 to the scene. It was a low, blue rancher with white shutters and a neat flower bed out front with pink flamingos happily decorating it. But inside there was a terrible commotion; somebody was screaming and crying and another person was yelling and cursing.

Johnny and Roy leapt out and ran towards the open door after instructing Dakota to wait outside for the police. Inside, it was dark and it took a minute for their eyes to adjust, but they soon saw a man with a baseball bat, beating his son who was screaming for mercy. Johnny and Roy jumped on the man and dragged him away from his nearly unconscious son, but amphetamines bolstered the man's strength and drive; he knocked both paramedics to the ground. He swung again at the boy on the floor, landing a hard hit across the boy's ribcage. The boy cried out and threw his arms across his bleeding face as the man flew into a savage frenzy and dropped the bat, beginning to use his fists and feet.

A screech of tires and the wailing of a siren told the paramedics that the police had arrived. Vince rushed in followed by Dakota. Together, the men finally brought the belligerent attacker to the ground and managed to get his wrists in handcuffs. Vince pulled the man to his feet and half dragged him outside while Roy and Johnny turned their attention to the badly injured boy.

Johnny began to examine the boy's extensive injuries and told Roy what he needed out of the squad. Roy turned to Dakota to ask her to get the necessary supplies, but her face was as white as a sheet as she looked as though a soft spring breeze would blow her over.

"Dakota? Are you alright?" Roy grabbed both of the trainee's shoulders.

Her eyes were transfixed on the comatose child on the floor and she began to shake. "I-I-I…" She stammered before tearing away from Roy and running outside. Roy followed her and saw her run around to the other side of the squad. He pulled the drug box and biophone from the correct compartment and took them to Johnny. Nearly twenty minutes later, after the boy's condition had stabilized and the ambulance arrived, Johnny and Roy conferred as the attendants moved the child onto the stretcher.

"What's her deal?" Johnny jerked his head in the direction Dakota had run.

"I don't know, Johnny. She seemed pretty upset about something." Roy motioned towards the ambulance. "You go ride in and I'll talk to her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Roy nodded and with one backward glance, Johnny ran towards the ambulance.

When the vehicle had pulled away, Roy cleaned up the drug box and slid it back into the compartment. He found Dakota sitting on the opposite side of the squad, her legs pulled up to her chin, her arms folded across her knees and her forehead resting on her forearms. She was still trembling.

"Hey," Roy reached out and touched Dakota's shoulder. She jumped and pulled away like his touch burnt her. Roy didn't know what to think. What was troubling this young trainee?


	5. Chapter 5

Lost in deep thought, the sudden touch on her shoulder startled Dakota greatly. When she jumped, she saw the look of confusion on the senior paramedic's face and tried to smile a bit to reassure him that she was alright, even though her stomach felt queasy and her head spun.

"What's up?" Roy sat down beside her, copying her position of arms on the knees. He pulled off his helmet and set it on the ground beside his foot.

Dakota gave a pained smile, not wanting Roy to really see what mental turmoil she was going through, but when she remembered how she had run out of the rancher, the smile disappeared. "I'm so sorry! I…I don't know what's wrong with me! That's never happened before, I promise, Roy! I didn't mean to run out like that but I-"

"Hey," Roy cut her off. "It's alright. That in there, well, that was really…tough to handle. Even for me. I have a son and I can't imagine being so angry at him like that. It gets to all of us, one time or another."

Dakota turned her head and rested her chin on her knees again. _Lord, I miss home so badly!_ She shot a quick prayer up to the Lord. _The city is so much different from my little Georgia town; God, I need somebody to open up to, somebody who will understand. I don't know if I can do this paramedic thing anymore, Lord! I'm afraid that I'll run out on somebody and let them die! Please help me get over my struggle._ Deep within her soul, Dakota felt a slight stirring.

" _Trust me."_ A voice in her head said. Immediately, Dakota recognized it as God. _Yes, Lord._ She responded. She brought her thoughts back into focus and realized that Roy was still speaking to her.

"…are you sure you're alright?" He was just finishing saying.

Dakota looked at him and felt hot tears sting the back of her eyes. The last place she wanted to break down and sob was here, in front of Roy, but there was no stopping it. The emotional whirlwind had been building up and was about to come crashing out. Hot tears slipped over the edges of her eyelids and spilled down her cheeks. She hid her face in her arms and tried to hold it all back as she felt angry at herself.

"I'm sorry, Roy! I'm…I'm such a wimp." She sniffled.

When Dakota began to cry, everything in Roy screamed at him, "What did you do? You made her cry!" But he sensed that there was something deeper; something under the surface that was still causing pain like an old wound that underneath, still hadn't sealed.

"No, no, you're not a wimp, Dakota." He rested a hand on her shoulder once more. "How 'bout we go to the hospital and clean up a bit, huh? I'm a mess!" He tried to distract her a little and brushed off a bit of dirt off his uniform. "I got thrown on the ground during that tussle."

Dakota nodded, dried her eyes, grabbed her helmet and then jumped into the squad, not speaking the whole way to the hospital. She stayed in the squad when Roy went inside to drag Johnny away from all the pretty nurses and disappeared almost immediately when they returned to the station.

That evening was a slow one; no calls and the guys lazed around the station. Marco was in charge of dinner which was to be eaten late because of a new favorite tv show episode that was due to be aired. Soon before supper, after the episode, Johnny came in from the apparatus bay and asked, "Hey, where's Dakota?"

Chet shrugged. "I haven't seen her all evening."

Johnny's forehead wrinkled. "Huh. He mumbled. "Maybe she's outside." He strolled back through the apparatus bay and out into the parking lot behind the station where he saw a ladder propped up against the side of the building. _That wasn't here this morning._ Standing at the bottom, he shook it lightly to test it's strength and deciding that it was sturdy enough, ascended carefully. When his head peeked above the shingled roof, he saw a feminine form outlined by the city lights.

"Dakota?" He pulled himself all the way up carefully. "What are you doing up here?"

Her answer was short. "Thinking."

"On the roof?"

"Look at all those lights, Johnny." She spread both arms out over the light-speckled horizon. "So many people, so many lives. So many lives that I could take away with one mistake."

Johnny felt odd, standing on the roof with this young trainee but he had seen even stranger situations out on runs before. He sat down beside her, being careful to not get to close but not too far away and changed the subject. "Cap might not like that you're up here."

Dakota didn't seem to hear him. She was focused on the dark, smokey colored mountains to the east as she pulled at the dry skin on her lips. Johnny watched her and then tried to see the mountains the way she was seeing them but somehow he couldn't. "What do you see in those mountains?"

Dakota turned her head ever so slightly his way but didn't tear her eyes away from the horizon. "I see home; Georgia. A place where I know everybody and everybody knows me, a place where I feel excepted and understood, loved. A place I miss dearly."

"Why did you move out here? Don't they have paramedic programs in Georgia?" Johnny saw that this girl was desperately homesick, a thing he himself had experienced when first moving to LA.

"I don't know. I didn't come out here to be a paramedic. That just kind of…happened."

"If you didn't come out here to be a paramedic, then why-"

Dakota's head snapped around and she stared straight into Johnny's eyes. "To find my mother."


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as the words left her lips, Dakota wanted to take them back. But there was nothing that could be done now.

"I thought you said that your family was in Georgia," Johnny cocked his head to the side a little.

Forcing herself to spit out the words, Dakota said quietly, "They are, but not my biological mother," She paused for a moment but the other paramedic didn't say anything so she continued. "If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it right now." Glancing at her trainer to gauge his reaction, she saw him watching her intensely so she immediately dropped her eyes again. "Sorry," She murmured.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Johnny's brain was trying to muddle through the new information he had just gained and it was a struggle but he respected that she did not want to talk about her past just as he didn't like speaking about his. "Don't be sorry," He said.

Then the two just sat there, on the roof of the station, staring out at the sparkling lights and the smoky blue mountains in the distance as the sunlight crept down at their backs.

After a while, Johnny finally worked up the courage to ask, "Are you busy on Saturday?"

Dakota opened her mouth to speak but then stopped and Johnny caught his breath and crossed his fingers. "No, I'm not."

A big wave of relief washed over Johnny. "So would it be okay if I came and picked you up and took you out?"

Another pause and Johnny felt like it was a hundred years until she finally answered with, "Sure,"

"Sweet," He grinned when she looked over her shoulder at him. "I can't wait."

A rarely seen smile graced her face and Johnny prided himself with making her smile.

"I'll give you my address later, if that's okay with you,"

"Yeah, that'll be great," Johnny's internal happy meter was just about to bust. _Now what could we do? A movie? Something outdoorsy? I don't know what she likes to do. I wonder what they do for fun where she comes from,_ he wondered.

From down below, Johnny heard Cap's voice bellowing for him. Groaning, he said, "Well, I'm being summoned,"

Dakota smiled again and watched him descend down the ladder until he disappeared.

When Johnny's feet hit the ground, his spirit soared, unconstrained by the earth's gravity like his body was. Fairly bouncing up and down with prideful joy, he skipped into Cap's office to see what his superior wanted from him.

 _EMERGENCY!_

Wednesday, the day before her next shift at Station 51, found Dakota longing for company. As she lay on her cot in her apartment above a horse stable, she sighed heavily. Homesickness washed over her and she remembered that the nice head nurse, Dixie McCall, had given Dakota her number. It took every ounce of Dakota's courage to call Dixie but when the nurse answered, her voice warm and welcoming, all Dakota's fears vanished into thin air.

"Why don't you come on over this evening? We could have 'girl time'. I bet it gets pretty boring working with a bunch of men all day!"

Dakota eagerly agreed to Dixie's proposition. What she needed was a close female confidante, somebody who could handle all the pent up emotions that a homesick country girl from the east coast was experiencing after moving to the big city on the west coast. It seemed as though 4 o'clock couldn't come fast enough so as she waited, Dakota pulled out a map of the city streets and plotted her way to Dixie's apartment.

Then to occupy the last hour, she grabbed a few carrots from her mini-fridge and headed down the stairs. Dakota's apartment was above a stable; the stairs coming down right beside the large double doors.

Hearing her coming, the horses still in their stalls began to whinny, knowing full well that treats where on their way.

Dakota loved living above the barn; being with the horses, smelling the fresh hay, and seeing the morning fog covering the pastures in the morning reminded her of her home so far away.

When it came time to leave, Dakota hopped in her truck and went on her way, praying that she would not get lost. Arriving only a few minutes late, Dakota was happy about only having taken a few wrong turns. When she knocked on the door to Dixie's apartment, she felt a little out of place in the nice complex, standing on the clean carpet with dusty boots, ripped jeans and an old white tank top.

But when Dixie opened the door and heartily welcomed Dakota, Dakota thought less about her clothing.

"How are you?" Dixie rubbed Dakota's back in a motherly way.

"I'm pretty good, I miss home a lot though,"

"Where are you from?" The head nurse ushered Dakota to the couch.

"A little town not far from Atlanta,"

Dixie's blue eyes widened, "Atlanta, Georgia?"

"Yes ma'am,"

"No no, call me Dixie,"

"Yes ma'…" Dakota caught herself and the two women laughed.

The night was wonderful for Dakota. She found that she thoroughly enjoyed Dixie's company. Around 8 o'clock, Dixie offered Dakota a drink.

Dakota had to respectfully decline. "I'm sorry, I can't. It ain't legal,"

Setting the liquor down on the end table, Dixie exclaimed, "Not even 21 yet! You seem older! How old are you if you don't mind me asking?"

"I'm 18,"

Dixie got a whimsical look on her face. "When I was 18 I was still running around not knowing what I wanted to do with my life. What makes you want to be a paramedic?"

Dakota explained her causes carefully and thoroughly to the nurse, who listened intently, nodding her head.

"Originally, I didn't come out here to be a paramedic. That wasn't the plan at all but I felt called to help all these hurting people. Not just help them with their physical hurts, but their emotional hurts, their spiritual hurts, their mental hurts. Nobody deserves to be hurt, and I want to do everything I possibly can to take away some suffering."

Dixie's eyes were warm. "That's very commendable, Dakota. Have you found it easy to accomplish that?"

"No, it's been a lot harder than I originally figured. There is a lot of hurting people that I know that I won't be able to reach and it hurts my heart knowing that. And…" Realizing that she had let her mouth run, she put the brakes on hard but knew immediately that she had let something slip.

Dixie questioned, "And what?"

Dakota dropped her eyes to her hands folded in her lap. Her chest and throat felt tight. _Somebody needs to know, 'Kota. You can't keep it bottled up forever._ Summoning all her will once again, Dakota nearly whispered, "It's hard to help hurting people when you're still dealing with your own hurt." She closed her eyes to keep the tears back. Feeling Dixie's warm hand on hers, she looked up at the head nurse through red eyes.

"Sometimes," Dixie paused, carefully crafting her words so not to offend Dakota. "sometimes, it helps to talk through that hurt; share the burden, if you know what I mean,"

"Mine's a heavy burden to bear, Dixie. I've found that sometimes people can't bear to hear it."

"Dakota, I've been a nurse for a long time now. I've heard and seen just about everything and I promise you that if want, every word you say will be safe with me,"

Studying Dixie's face closely, Dakota sighed. "It's been a long, long time since I've told this to anybody new. Since I moved here, it's been eating me up inside…I don't know why," Dixie rubbed Dakota's hand, which conveyed to Dakota that she wanted Dakota to continue.

"I was born here in Los Angeles, lived with my mother somewhere on the north end of the city. I never knew exactly who my father was; my mother always had a boyfriend in the house.

When I was five or six, I learned that I had an older brother, four years older than I was. When Russ was born, my mother was young and single; Russ's father had abandoned her when he found out. So when he was born, she gave him up for adoption. He was the child that she had wanted but couldn't keep; I was the child she didn't want but had to keep and she resented me for it. The only reason she kept me was because her boyfriend at the time said that he would let my mother stay longer in his house until she found permanent housing.

Like I said, when I was about five or six my mother's boyfriend told me about my older brother, without my mother's knowledge. Being a young kid, I foolishly asked her about it and she flew into a rage. I remember being very confused and didn't understand why the mention of my brother's name would send her over the edge. That night, I was sent to my room and wasn't allowed to come out the rest of the evening and I really wouldn't have; I could hear my mother and her boyfriend screaming at each other until late in the night. It was awful; I had never heard anybody fight like that before. But that was only the beginning. Around the same time I started school, another man started coming 'round; his name was Robby. He treated me like his servant. I was constantly being told to "get me another beer" or "go warm up some of last night's leftovers" or "go get my shoes and bring them here". This went on for a few months and my mother did nothing, in fact, she even caught onto it and began treating me the same. It got worse and worse and when Robby and my mother broke up, the brunt of my mother's anger came down on me.

That was the first time that I was hit, the night when Robby left. I remember seeing my mom flopping down on the couch and throwing her arms over her face so I ran to the kitchen and got a can of beer out of the fridge for her. When I brought it, she slapped me across the face and yelled at me, "I didn't ask for a beer, girl,". Some days, as soon as I would come home from school she would lock me in the garage until she wanted me to do something for her. That's where I spent most of my summers,"

"In the garage?" Dixie gasped. "In the hot garage!"

"By the time I was twelve, the police had been called out to our house at least three times because the neighbors heard me screaming for help when she was punishing me. But nothing ever came of it; every time they showed up at our door I prayed that they would somehow see and would take me away. But they never did. In fact, their presence seemed to make my mother angrier at me.

Right before my thirteenth birthday, my mom got a phone call from a young man asking if he could meet with her at a local restaurant. I didn't know it at the time but my brother Russell had contacted my mom. He was seventeen at the time and wanted to meet his birth mother. Over the next couple weeks, he started coming to the house and when he did, my mother seemed to be a changed person. She was sweet and kind and everything a mother should be, but a stranger to me. Russell and I grew closer and closer. He was the only one who could see past the fake front that my mother put on. Eventually, he finally saw how she normally was to me and that night, as he was leaving, I remember being locked in the garage after a particularly horrible punishment, crying for him not to go. He stood at the window in the garage and whispered so that mom wouldn't hear. He told me he would get me out of there, that he was making a plan. It took another three months before it finally all came true. On Tuesday nights, my mom worked until real late at the local bar as a bartender. I, as always, was confined to the garage. But I remember hearing Russell knocking on the window and telling me to back away. He broke the window, helped me climb out, and when my feet hit the ground, pulled me into a big bear hug.

That was the first hug I had had since I was six years old. Russ left a note addressed to my mom and we started out, headed for his house. It was still mid-morning but when we got into the inner city, he started becoming more and more nervous and jumpy. When I asked why, he told me that a year ago he had gotten into some trouble with some fellas who lived around here and they had sworn to get him back. I didn't really worry too much about it because to me, my brother was invincible. We were crossing at a crosswalk when it happened. I heard somebody shouting, sounded angry. I looked up and there was a young man with his head out the window of a car, screaming at Russ. Russ shoved me from behind and told me to run but I was disoriented and confused so I ran a few steps and stopped. The man in the car gunned the engine and tried to run Russ over. Russ flew up over the hood and slid off again, landing on his stomach on the pavement, his leg broken and arms covered in road rash. He looked straight at me and screamed at me to go, so once again I ran a few more steps. The man in the car got out, holding a pistol. Still screaming at me to go, Russ and the man wrestled over the pistol before three shots were fired into Russ's chest and abdomen and Russ fell. I was on the still on the sidewalk; from the pavement, Russ looked up at me and told me to run far, far away and to not look back. The man who had shot my brother saw me and started for me but Russ grabbed his ankle and the man fell. As I ran, I remember hearing more shots and sirens heading for the site. People were yelling and trying to catch the shooter but he got to his car and got away. I ran, and I kept running until night fell. I wasn't going to go home to my mother, and I was afraid that if I went to the police and told them what I had seen, they would take me back there.

So I kept running, away from the city. I changed my name so if the police were looking for me, they wouldn't find me. I made it all the way to Tennessee before somebody finally caught me. I begged them not to send me back to California so the people there communicated with the Child Services in LA. I didn't find out until later that my mom was sent to jail later that year for what she had done to me. I was sent to an orphanage in Atlanta, Georgia, where I spent the next half-year until I was told I was being sent to a foster home in a small town not too far from the city. As it turns out, my being sent there was an accident but the people welcomed me warmly. It wasn't your traditional family that I was placed with; there was an older uncle who had raised two nephews and niece when their parents were killed in an automobile accident. The Dukes where so, so good to me. They became my family in every way possible. They adopted me a year after I came to live with them. I left them almost a year ago now. I came here to LA again to look for my mom and tell her that I forgive her for everything she put me through."

Dixie was speechless. This young woman had been through so much in her nineteen years, more than Dixie had experienced in her forty-some years. An abusive childhood and witnessing the murder of her brother was much too big of a load to bear for a thirteen-year-old girl. Heart aching, Dixie reached out to Dakota and pulled her close. The younger woman seemed to melt into the hug, so Dixie squeezed tighter.


End file.
